Recently I went to the station and there was a photo of a boy on one of the pillars supporting the shelter. The next day there were flowers. The boy had died. I over heard that morning that he fell on the tracks, I heard the next day that he was playing on the tracks.

His friends had brought flowers to the station over night, which I thought was nice, but they had also brought with them spray paint and vandalised the station with message of grief and loss. I thought this was a bit bad, cos it really isn’t there property. I saw that in the morning, and when I came back in the evening the flowers were there but the station had been painted. The next morning it was twice as bad. They had come back to undo the work the painters did the day before, must be a bit of a pain really!

All of the vandalism and stories I heard kept chipping away at me feeling sorry for the kids, to be honest, you shouldn’t play on the tracks, aren’t we all taught this? But what really angered me was the fact that the messages had lots of spelling and grammatical mistakes. My spelling and punctuation is bad, and I know! But what I saw made me sick!

The spelling mistake that got me was the spelling of ‘you’, oh dear, I felt sorry and sad when I saw ‘yoe’. And the cards and graffiti had mistakes like ‘here’ instead of ‘hear’ and ‘their’ instead of ‘there’. And these kids must have been 14-16.

Over hearing people saying that the kids deserved it for messing around on the track and seeing these errors made me angry and not sad. Maybe he did deserve it? Maybe it was bound to happen to one of him and his friend and it was just (un)luck of the draw that it was him.

Moral: if you cant spell, don’t play on the tracks.

RIP

So every now and then I have this dream, it seems to blend in with whatever my mind is showing me that night.

I’m standing in front of a mirror… ominous… and I have a razor in my hand. So I start shaving, but I make a dreadful error while shaving! Shock horror, I shave off too much of my beard!!! In fact its so much I try to correct it by evening it up, but I fail and proceed to cut off all of my beard. It’s a very worrying dream; it’s the closest to a nightmare I’ve had for a long time!

I have had some other bad news today. My fish has died. Psycho the fish in Korea died while my girlfriend was at the gym. He was found with his head stuck in the little twirly shell in the fish bowl, the poor poor little beast, drowned to death. I have fond memories of that fish. When I first bought him, I put him in the bowl with another fish I had inherited from Brims. The fish had no name at that point, but seemed so irate at being put into a bowl that he swam very fast round in circles. So fast that he stirred the water and the crap at the bottom of the bowl floated up. The other poor fish was in a state of shock, breathing heavily and cowering in a corner (of the round bowl, but you catch my drift). So I named him Psycho. Psycho got more and more used to me. The first few months went by with him swimming at the back of the bowl when I was near but then he got used to me and came over to the front when I peered in, cute fellow he was. I began to train Psycho a few months later, by putting my little finger into the bowl, and trying to make him come up and give me a kiss. It worked for a while; my girlfriend had more luck with that after I left.

I have a video I will put up on youtube.

RIP my little buddy. Go and join Brian’s suicidal jumping fish ;_;

Two days at work

Yesterday: This is rubbish I'm sitting at work with little to keep me occupied.
Not that it takes a lot to entertain me. Give me some typing, formatting
or even some photocopying would go down a treat, anything to keep me
awake! The place is quiet.

A real slacker just walked into the office. Nice distraction. I have a
suspicion he works for the 'Estates' department, but more often than
not he strolls in here with no business what-so-ever. Just comes in for
a chat; 'Oh I say!' (his favourite catchphrase).

It's an hour til lunch. That goes especially swiftly, as I have half
an hour kip after eating my gobsmackingly exciting lunch of muesli.

Time for a coffee!

On the contrary, today was manic. With at least three people from Admin off on holiday, there are only two of us handling all of the calls. This was the case yesterday, but today was different! Lots of calls, lots of jobs to do. I gotta relax!

Having been accepted onto the MSc course that I applied for, the easy part is over! Now the real work begins. Going to university is defiantly not only about the academic work that that is evolved, but there is a whole lot more to it. I’ve already been through the process once and it was a great experience! The course I chose, although I would like to go back in time and change my UCAS form, was interesting and challenging and the people I met are simply unique. Along side all of this was the experience I earned by moving out of home and trying to sustain myself. It was all good fun and there were no worries, because it was all new and exciting, but this time there is something different about it all. Now I know what its all about I’m ten times more worried about it.

There are plenty of sites on the net that are helping me out in my search for a place to live. Rent, bills and deposit. Deposit and tuition fees will be a strain on my bank account! But it’s a bit early to be looking for a place to live. Most places seem to be advertised when available or are advertised a week or so before they are available. So I’ll have to be patient on that subject and work on the money situation in the mean time.

Once I have found a place I have to maintain an income of money. All I want is a bar job! Evenings weekends, I’d imagine there are plenty of jobs going in bars. On the other hand I’ve got very limited bar experience, but I can work in a kitchen. Anything that gives tips would be nice. But then again, if I could manage to get a job in the environmental sector that would be great! Chances seem to be slim though.

Then there is juggling studying and working. Because I am studying part-time; it should give me plenty of time to go to work and student independently. I got a pretty low 2:1 last time, so this time I will have to put in a little more effort. Although this time I want it more! With more time, effort and focus, I think I can do it.

Anyways, that’s worrying about the future; I should take some time to appreciate the quiet time I am spending at home with my mum, who is supporting me every step of the way. Its tough to do that, I should try harder.

Take it easy

dx